Bob Warren

Bob Warren
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Get Off My Lawn

Hootie and the Blowfish were playing at SPAC
I took my nine year old son, Kevin, and his friend Zack
Well, we were first in line, waiting since the crack of dawn
So when the gates finally opened we hurried to the lawn

When we found a spot we liked we staked our claim
Spread out the blanket, at which point I did exclaim
"You see boys, the early bird really does catch the worm"
Little did I know our luck was gonna turn

Soon enough the stragglers began to straggle in
With coolers and blankets and chairs and big old grins
And that, my friend, is when I began to see
That we were surrounded by a sea of inhumanity

They were loud and proud and they outnumbered us ten 
     thousand to three
And now the back of their lawn chairs was all that we could see
And when a frisbee buzzed our heads, we were forced to yield
As our blanket became a part of the playing field

Folksinger, Nancy Griffith, was the opening act
But the party on the lawn well, they were having none of that
They were there to hear "Hootie!" "Hootie!" and the band
And when the first chord struck, everyone did stand

And stand they did for the whole rest of the night
Inching ever closer, coming in from the left and the right
Inching ever closer, coming in from the front and the back
More and more joining in the barberous attack

"Hootie!" they yelled, "Hootie!" and pumped their fists
Fired up by the concert that the three of us missed
For even now that we were up and standing on our feet
The boys could see nothing but butts writhing to the beat

Yeah I'm old and I'm cranky, I know, I know
But why waste your time? I ask, Why spend all that dough?
Just invite your friends over to sit out on the patio
Put some beers in the cooler and Hootie on the stereo

Or better yet some Beatles 
Or Stevie Ray or Sarah Vaughn
And a sign that reads
"Get off my lawn!"

© 2018 by Bob Warren

The Album - My Town


From the album My Town